What's up with all the angsty resistance?
Hello Friends,
Whew—thank goodness for a new month because February kicked my booty. Not only are there a million things in my world that I can’t control right now, but the eye-roll count in my house has hit an all-time high. I keep reminding myself that teenage resistance is normal. But let’s be real—sometimes it feels like trying to hug a cactus: painful, frustrating, and occasionally met with a sharp sting. Just when you think you’ve got a handle on things, they hit you with attitude so dramatic it deserves its own Oscar. And when the battle of wills begins, it can feel like the whole house is caving in.
So what’s the deal with all this resistance? It’s called COUNTERWILL—the clash of two wills.
Psychologist Gordon Neufeld—one of my absolute favorites—explains it like this:
"Counterwill is the instinctive reaction of a child to resist being controlled. This resistance can take many forms: opposition, negativism, laziness, noncompliance, disrespect, lack of motivation, belligerence, incorrigibility, and even antisocial attitudes and actions. It can also express itself in resistance to learning. Despite the multitude of manifestations, the underlying dynamic is deceptively simple—a defensive reaction to perceived control or coercion.”
Sound familiar? Yep, it’s adolescence in a nutshell.
But here’s the good news—understanding why counterwill happens is the first step to handling it in a way that doesn’t leave you feeling exhausted and defeated. That’s exactly why I’m hosting a Counterwill Workshop this Thursday from 12-2 PM MST. I will literally give you a step-by-step process of how to identify counterwill, understand it, recognize when its problematic or not, and give you concrete strategies to work with it instead of constantly battling against it.
If you’ve ever raised a toddler, you know this resistance well. But in adolescence, it hits differently—it’s bigger, stronger, and honestly, scarier because our kids can feel so far away from us in those moments.
I’d love to break it all down for you, give you tools that actually help, and answer your questions in real time. And guess what? This isn’t a gendered issue—this workshop is for ALL parents of ALL genders.
Can’t make it live? No problem! Sign up anyway, and I’ll send you the recording so you can watch at your convenience.
REGISTER HERE FOR THE COUNTERWILL WORKSHOP
Can’t wait to see you there!
