The Summer of Sexuality

Hello Friends.

Sexuality. A word that likely elicits some really deep sighs as parents. I’m here to help.

For the next three months, I’ll be writing specifically about sexuality and sexual health. This topic is near and dear to my heart, and one I specialized in for nearly a decade of my career.

Because regardless of our own associations, beliefs, and experiences around sex, I’m certain we all want the same thing: for our kids to eventually have a healthy, shame-free and satisfying relationship with sex and their bodies.

Sexuality comes with being human. Plain and simple. It’s a healthy and beautiful part of life.

So why approach the topic as though it’s a burning building?

Well, of course that answer is not at all cut and dry.

Unfortunately, our culture is so riddled with unhealthy messaging around sex. From deep systemic sexism, sexualizing young people, showcasing falsities about what sex “should” look like and a many many other confusing messages… Of course we feel protective and fearful for our children.

Not to mention the different traumas around sex we each have and carry with us. These things all profoundly impact our relationship with sexuality.

So, how are we supposed to educate and empower our kids instead of scare them? How are we supposed to talk to them about this beautiful thing that is sexuality if we don’t fully believe it?

Well, we start with ourselves.

For the first month of this series, we’ll be exploring our own sexual health which is a combination of physical, mental, spiritual and social wellness in relation to sexuality.

I invite you to pour yourself a cup of tea and carve out some time to ask yourself these questions:

• What were some early messages you received about sex?

• About masturbation?

• About pleasure?

• About your body?

• About gender?

• About sexual orientation?

• About what “sexy” is?

• About consent?

• What is your definition of being sexual? 

• What do you think inhibits your expression of being a sexual being? 

And lastly, how do you want to feel today in regards to your sexuality? What are your values today?

Have compassion for where you’ve come from. There are no wrong answers here.

And no matter what your answers are, you get to choose to be curious. How wonderful is that? You get to choose to be open-minded and to start reframing some of these definitions and narratives if you want. It doesn’t all happen at once, but we each get to make the choice to present sexuality to our children in a healthier way than we learned it.

Pretty awesome, right?

I’m excited to share this sexuality journey with you!